Confessions of a MOMaholic

This post is part chain letter, part self reflection. I saw this on a friend’s blog and am following suit. So, I post 10 guilty mom confessions and then you judge me. GULP.

Dear Cruz:

1. Before you came along, I made Dad agree to have a dog before I would even THINK about having a baby. You’re lucky he’s a generous man.

2. In the first week of your life, you cried so hard at night. I think we were both delirious from lack of sleep. I looked down at you in frustration, trying to figure out what to do, and at that moment I started to cry with you. I think that’s when I really fell in love. (When I said I loved you in the hospital when you were born, I loved you, but I wasn’t IN love with you. :))

3. Once, and only once, when you were a wee baby, you were nursing and I had to go potty so bad but couldn’t bear to put you down. Everyone was sleeping and I didn’t want you to cry, so I brought you with me, and you continued to nurse, oblivious of why I could only hold you with one arm. (Does that make you a "wee wee" baby? lol)

4. Because I was stuck to the recliner a lot (and when I say a lot, I mean 24-7. You were still too young to be put down, a.k.a. you would cry bloody murder if I tried), I sometimes had to eat with you in my arms. After having what I thought was the best sandwich of my life, I looked down only to find the best sandwich of my life’s crumbs all over your poor little head. I kept eating.

5. It was like heavenly rays of sunshine pouring through the rain clouds when you started to sleep through the night at 3 months. But when you did, I missed you dearly, and I still do. But, when you wake up and I see your smile, it makes everything better.

6. When you were only 4 months old, I booked us a weekend trip for Aunt Pam101’s 30th birthday. When Dad decided he couldn’t go, I rebooked so I could come home to you earlier since I was nursing full-time. When I found out that I accidently rebooked for the same exact flight as the original, I was secretly happy and ended up having a blast w/o you and Dad.

7. When I busted out the formula for the first time after 5 months, I cried. It took me another month to actually start using it.

8. I took you to the pool and dunked you under water when you turned 6 months old. I promise I don’t have post-partum depression! You had fun, trust me.

9. When you started the “wounded soldier crawl” a few weeks ago, I was not only excited but also secretly dreading the fact that I’d have to keep a closer eye on you. You are one fast little sucker.

10. Sigh, 8 months later, I STILL haven’t taken enough photos of you. Your Dad made a really cute photo book from mobile uploads. And I never carry your photo book around to show people. Aaaaarrrgghhhhh! I’M SO LAZY! I can’t even bring myself to post photos to go along with this blog.


Not unrelated to these mom confessions, I AM guilty of not updating my blog more often. It’s tough work being a “M.I.L.F.” In all honesty, I am really glad this came about, because it actually gave me a chance to stop and think about why I love my life so much!

"This video will change your life." -- Mr. Boo

SXSW Shenanigans

Highlights:

• Got in free (thanks to our dear friend working the door) at the Billboard.com showcase to check out Asteroids Galaxy Tour.The lead singer had this baby doll, Lady Gaga thing going on, but the music was pretty good. (Let's hope we can score a free entry in again tonight for the Estelle show - I LOVE HER! She's also set to play the Perez Hilton party.)
• Checking out the Muse show on the romantic grassy knoll outside of Stubb's. Two chics were making out in front of us.
• Bumping into Bill Murray who was in quite a hurry to get somewhere. He looked really really lost. And old. He practically bumped into me actually. He might have grazed my ass.

Lowlights:

• It all started with my first tweet: "At SXSW on Red River. Smells like piss and hipsters."
• Dax had to use the restroom RIGHT before Muse came on so I missed part of the first song while we walked back to his office.
• Aforementioned lesbians tried to climb the back limestone wall of Stubb's. One made it and everyone cheered but the other fell about three stories down, hit the ground then tumbled into the creek. It was freaking scary.

From food slave to food salvation

It's the Lenten season, which means a period of self-denial for us Catholics and other believers out there. While many celebrated Mardis Gras - or Fat Tuesday - last week, it seems I have been celebrating Fat Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and all the other days of the week, several times a day since Cruz was born. There was no denying my indulgence of sweets at every meal or snack - after all I was still eating for two, right? Twenty pounds and 3 months later, here we are.

Maybe I was in denial about my weight before but now I'm back on track, thanks to the resurrection of Jesus. The power of Christ compelled me to give up sweets, desserts, candy as well as red meat on Fridays.

Enter in obligatory Catholic loophole: apparently, according to one of my sources, we get one day to be bad again, and that's on Sundays. I guess God knew it was hard work to be penitent, so he decided to let us rest on the seventh day.

Long story short,as soon as I could say "Thank You, Jesus!" my mouth was full of my mom's sticky rice pudding. YUMMO!

God made dirt, and dirt don't hurt.

And you better believe that Cruz takes his dirt seriously...

E-V-O-OHHHHHHHhhhhhh

Yesterday, my OB said I was "ready" for "action" - IF you know what I mean...

She even went as far as recommending olive oil - IF you know what I mean...

Apparently, it is a trick she also used when my turkey was done approximately six weeks ago - IF you know what I mean...

It is funny to think of EVOO as a key ingredient to the circle of life. Low fat too. Gives new meaning to the term "organic."

Rachel Ray would be so proud.

Cougars Unite!

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Go out and buy this!

Played this game for 2 hours last night with my vball team - SOOOO fun! It's sort of like charades with words. DO IT!

Pregnant Phat or Pregnant Fat?

At Barton Springs the other day, this little girl comes up to me and says, "are you pregnant?" With a big, proud smile on my face I reply, "Yes I am."

Little Girl: "I knew it. That's why I told them (her friends) that it was OK you were fat. Because you are pregnant fat."

Me: "You son of a...."

Ok, I didn't really cuss her out after that. But I was mortified! I had to practice my calming technique to stop from spanking her - something I will need to perfect before my alien gets here.

I just died and went to geek heaven

Dorks Unite! There is a new Ren-Faire in Texas! We passed a teaser sign on the way to Houston last week.

http://www.sherwoodforestfaire.com/

What I learned today from gay Todd #1:

1. I am glowing

2. My boobs are lookin' good (replace boobs with the "t" word)

3. I'm SO chinese

4. He loves me

5. I'm a bitch

6. I can visit him anytime as long as I leave my kid at home

7. I have a heartbeat (he actually pressed his head to my chest)

8. He loves me, again

9. He tans better than I do

10. There is one gay bar in Puerto Plata if I want to go. (He obviously didn't read the "gay for pay" section in Frommers)

Drunk, sloppy gay men are fabulous. :)
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Vaya con Ponch (shenanigans!)

Waiting to hop on the plane to Buenos Aires...thinking about, oh you know, life.

Aren't those photos with people jumping supposed to be cool, or something?

Sun salutations in the United Nations Park in front of the giant flower sculpture that opens and closes in the morning and at night with the sun.

Una siesta...

After a quick nap, he's ready for the world!

Did I tell you I almost got into a fight?

Ok, maybe I should rephrase: I almost got my ass kicked. It's true, and it would have been a sad sad site to see a pregnant lady get beat up by a teen pregnancy chola. No offense...

It was a few Fridays ago, and we were meeting the vball girls for drinks and dinner at Trudy's North Star. The parking there is outta control and just when I thought I saw a space opening up, the car sat there for like 10 minutes not moving. After circuling a few times, I spotted a empty space - finally! Sike: it was only empty of a car, and in its stead was agirl who's face read "don't fuck with me."

I pulled up and she was not budging - obviously claiming the prized space for her friend. I politely told her... ok, maybe I had an attitude, but I basically said she couldn't hold the space. Her reply: "I'm not moving" with her head rolling this way and that way. This lasted for probably 3 minutes - the same thing over and over again. You can't hold it, I'm not moving. Finally, I rolled my eyes and said, "Look dude, don't be a bitch." I know, I know, I didn't have to go there. And honestly, if I had a choice in the matter, I probably wouldn't have. But it was something else inside of me talking! The minute she replied "Bitch, Fuck You!", my blood started to boil, heart beating faster, arm pits getting sweaty. Yikes! What was I thinking talking shit to this person! Maybe I had feigned courage because I could see Dax and Courtney waiting for me in front of Trudy's in plain view. They for SURE had to see what was going on and would get my back, right?!

Finally, the chola's 300lb and matching in red polo friend came up, asked what was going on. My only reply was something to the effect of, "Just deal with her." He took her by the arm and finally got out of my effing way so I could park. Instead of victory, I was scared shitless. I think I was going into shock or something! I could feel the tears building up inside of me and had to take several deep breaths before getting out of the car.

As I walked toward the restaurant, I realized Dax and Courtney had no idea what happend and not had my back afterall. When I told them the story they were completely surprised and didn't even see me parking 50 feet in front of them. Dax even said something to the effect of, "This is going to be awkward now, especially if we sit near them."

THANKS DAX .... 20 fucking minutes later, our tables are set back to back in a crunched corner of the restaurant. Meanwhile, chola and I are avoiding eye contact, either too embarrassed, or in my situation, scared, to recognize the irony of the situation.

Fucking Karma...