Monday, July 19, 2010

Confessions of a MOMaholic

This post is part chain letter, part self reflection. I saw this on a friend’s blog and am following suit. So, I post 10 guilty mom confessions and then you judge me. GULP.

Dear Cruz:

1. Before you came along, I made Dad agree to have a dog before I would even THINK about having a baby. You’re lucky he’s a generous man.

2. In the first week of your life, you cried so hard at night. I think we were both delirious from lack of sleep. I looked down at you in frustration, trying to figure out what to do, and at that moment I started to cry with you. I think that’s when I really fell in love. (When I said I loved you in the hospital when you were born, I loved you, but I wasn’t IN love with you. :))

3. Once, and only once, when you were a wee baby, you were nursing and I had to go potty so bad but couldn’t bear to put you down. Everyone was sleeping and I didn’t want you to cry, so I brought you with me, and you continued to nurse, oblivious of why I could only hold you with one arm. (Does that make you a "wee wee" baby? lol)

4. Because I was stuck to the recliner a lot (and when I say a lot, I mean 24-7. You were still too young to be put down, a.k.a. you would cry bloody murder if I tried), I sometimes had to eat with you in my arms. After having what I thought was the best sandwich of my life, I looked down only to find the best sandwich of my life’s crumbs all over your poor little head. I kept eating.

5. It was like heavenly rays of sunshine pouring through the rain clouds when you started to sleep through the night at 3 months. But when you did, I missed you dearly, and I still do. But, when you wake up and I see your smile, it makes everything better.

6. When you were only 4 months old, I booked us a weekend trip for Aunt Pam101’s 30th birthday. When Dad decided he couldn’t go, I rebooked so I could come home to you earlier since I was nursing full-time. When I found out that I accidently rebooked for the same exact flight as the original, I was secretly happy and ended up having a blast w/o you and Dad.

7. When I busted out the formula for the first time after 5 months, I cried. It took me another month to actually start using it.

8. I took you to the pool and dunked you under water when you turned 6 months old. I promise I don’t have post-partum depression! You had fun, trust me.

9. When you started the “wounded soldier crawl” a few weeks ago, I was not only excited but also secretly dreading the fact that I’d have to keep a closer eye on you. You are one fast little sucker.

10. Sigh, 8 months later, I STILL haven’t taken enough photos of you. Your Dad made a really cute photo book from mobile uploads. And I never carry your photo book around to show people. Aaaaarrrgghhhhh! I’M SO LAZY! I can’t even bring myself to post photos to go along with this blog.


Not unrelated to these mom confessions, I AM guilty of not updating my blog more often. It’s tough work being a “M.I.L.F.” In all honesty, I am really glad this came about, because it actually gave me a chance to stop and think about why I love my life so much!